JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

Are you between the ages of 6 and 16?

Do you read a lot of books?

Have you read The Lord of the Rings and/or Dune and/or The Once and Future King? If you have not read any of these, you are not the nerd we are looking for.

Are you bored and/or insulted by the Young Adult books that are recommended to you?

Do you want something good to read?

We feel your pain, we used to be you. Fortunately we had libraries to go to, and sympathetic elders who knew we wanted more than “age-appropriate literature” (“Give the child the T.H. White, it’s already read the Old Testament”).

We might be able to help with our Young Nerd Program.

We don’t want to be your friend or meet you personally, we’re not a pedophile. We’ll send you the reading matter or leave it at a drop for your parents to pick up. Email us at saffron.safin@gmail.com. Write the note yourself, we don’t want to hear from your parents. Do not gush. Do not try to impress us, that’s annoying. Do not even mention your IQ, grades, or school honors, we’re not impressed. Tell us what you’ve read and what you want to read. Note: We are partial to old books (Jane Eyre, Huckleberry Finn, The Odyssey, that stuff) so you may want to mention titles like that. And mind your grammar, we’re not giving books to kids whose subjects and verbs don’t agree.

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If you know kids who meet these criteria, forward this to them.