JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

Remember when the media and paparazzi stalked celebrities in order to allegedly serve their audience (Because they need to know the truth. . .about who’s boinking whom!)? I think it’s moved to the next level: celebrities are stalking us. They clog the airwaves with their confessions and revelations of the most intimate details of their personal lives. Don’t we already have way more information than we need about celebrities? I don’t even watch TV, but the oocky details of celebrity scandals still leach into my life and infect my personal space. I don’t deny that I enjoy watching the famous suffer, especially the famous who aren’t particularly good at anything and are just famous for being famous, but this is confessional ickiness overload.

Ever wonder why local celebrities are just clamoring to appear on TV to tell you how tormented they really are, and more importantly, to shed tears and snot in public? Why would the glamorous and overpaid want your pity and sympathy? Because pity (awa) is an artificial equalizer. When you feel sorry for a celebrity because her husband beats her/cheats on her/doesn’t love her, it makes you feel better about your own “ordinary” (as in “not covered by the major networks”) life. She may be famous, rich, beautiful, but she has problems too, just like you! You become more willing to overlook the massive injustice of the situation, viz. You study hard, work hard, and do the best you can, but you’ll never get that kind of attention or revenue. You forgive the famous their advantages because, sob, they’re people, too. It’s the classic “Us Folks” approach, made squishier.