JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

Sportswriters have criticized Roger Federer’s Wimbledon outfit as “dandyish”, “foppish”, “ridiculous”, harking to tradition ergo backward-looking, and promoting an image of tennis as elitist. One urged him to “man up.”

I myself do not like the jacket: the collar and shoulders are too big, it looks like an hommage to Michael Jackson. I half-expected Roger to moonwalk across the lawn in tribute until it occurred to me that when Thriller came out, Roger was one year old. (Maybe he’s psychic too. We can jointly set up a carnival booth.)

In matters of fashion everyone is entitled to their own opinion. However, the sneering says more about the authors’ personal prejudices, perceptions of masculinity, and class baggage than it does about the outfit in question.

They can’t find fault with his game, so they attack his clothes. They cannot conceive of a great champion with a sense of style so they cast aspersions on his masculinity—just stopping short of calling him gay. And charging him with elitism? That’s disingenuous.

Obviously this is a subject for a column-length rant (Blast, I already submitted this Friday’s), but for now I will say that if Roger Federer wants to play on Center Court in a white sundress, let him. As long as he plays like Roger Federer, I don’t care. Man it must really cause one’s balls to shrivel, seeing a player so well-dressed, with perfect hair and lovely manners, gracefully destroy opponents who are running around grunting, sweating, and “manfully” working. Of course it brings up class issues.

As for the “elitism” part, it is best answered in Tagalog. Magkano ang tennis racquet? Dose mil. (How much is a racquet? Twelve thousand pesos.) And that’s the mid-priced type.

The rent for a public court: 100 pesos per hour. The trainer: P250 an hour. The ballboy: P100 an hour. The shoes: at least P3,000. Never mind the shirts and shorts. You don’t want to play on public courts? Club membership costs around half a million pesos. Ssssh, we can’t let the audience know that tennis is an expensive sport. Well they already know.