JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

From the BBC: An Australian ad campaign aiming to reduce road deaths by questioning the manhood of speeding drivers has proved a great success, a survey suggests. The TV ads show women shaking their little finger – a gesture used to symbolise a small penis – as speeding male motorists race past. In a government-commissioned survey, about 60% of young men said the ad had made them ponder their driving habits.

What an excellent idea! I think it would really work in Manila, where I suspect penis size is also inversely proportional to the size of one’s SUV, i.e. The more humongous the gas-guzzling space-hogging environment-raping machine, the teenier the wiener. In fact loud and ostentatious public displays of manhood are often forms of compensatory behavior. True, this may be an unfair generalization, so we should get a grant to look into this in a more objective, um, scientific manner.

So maybe the MMDA could put up signs saying, “Bakit ka nagmamadali, maliit ka ba?” After all they put up those signs that said, “Driver, nakasapatos ka ba?” (Are you wearing shoes?) to encourage cabbies to dress properly, although it sounded like they were having phone sex with motorists (What are you wearing?). Seriously, sizist signs would really deter speeding, although with the traffic, speeding only happens late at night or on the expressways. For maximum effectivity—to really reach the target audience—the signs should feature a hot actress or Piolo Pascual.