The first rule of snootiness. . .
Your grammar must be impeccable. It is the quality that sets you apart from the slavering hordes with their inferior education. Clothes, accessories, and styling can be lost; barring a lobotomy, grammar is perpetual. Consider this flyer for a new restaurant.
This is UPPER EAST, the new restaurant that turns your concept of fine dining over on its ear.
The correct idiomatic expression is “turn (it) on its ear”.
A word to the wise: UPPER EAST is not for those sans chutzpah and those unwilling to pay for the price for a taste of New York style.
You mean “to pay the price for a taste”.
Run by the chefs and students of AHA Philippines, UPPER EAST’s interiors are done in modern chic, urban classic,
In my experience, people who describe a particular style as “modern chic, urban classic” are not sure what style they are referring to exactly. “Chic” is a synonym for “stylish”, which would be like saying “stylish style”. “Urban” denotes popular culture, hence “urban classic” is an oxymoron.
design reminiscent of New York’s Upper East Side apartments.
How interesting. I’ve only ever seen Upper East Side apartments crammed with antiques and tchotchkes from the mother country, but that must be because I only know old people.
Wooden chandeliers complete the picture of a restaurant that may just be too chic for its clients. From the regular menu of American classic and fusion, to weekly specials from different world cuisines, to fine wines from all over the world,
Ah, but fine wines are only produced in some sections of the world, no?
you can expect only the very best offerings from AHA’s culinary expertise delivered to your table.
At this point the copywriter ran out of snootiness and reverted to regular PR mode.
Just don’t expect to dine whenever you want to. After all, UPPER EAST is not always open for business. We close our doors when we want to, and we certainly won’t wait around for guests who, frankly, need to get a move on. No lunch is served after 1 p.m. and no dinner after 9 p.m.
Good point. I would like to see if it is possible to enforce this rule in Manila. Dining before 9 pm—what a charming bourgeois habit.
UPPER EAST is not for the weak of heart. Expect to be serenaded, as you sip your wine and savor every bite of your meal, by the screaming and ranting of our compulsive Executive Chef for whom incompetence is a crime, set against a sonic backdrop of AHA students sobbing and scrambling to do his bidding.
Too many clauses, and “savor every bite” is overstating it. There are better ways of saying your Executive Chef is a shit who reduces his or her minions into quivering blobs of aspic. Besides, the truly powerful never have to raise their voices.
UPPER EAST is not for scrooges and stiffs. We tolerate sharing, although it’s not exactly de rigeur,
The correct spelling is de rigueur. Darling if you’re going to be snooty, consult the spell checker.
is it? As for splitting? The fine is set at P250,
Must we mention money, it’s so prole. One may as well consent to be interviewed by those…those…my apologies in case you are dining. . .society magazines.
not including our wait staff looking down their noses at you. This is the UPPER EAST experience. And this is the price you pay… if you can get in.
Allons-y! I shall be there, with nose extensions.
One must have the ability to dine on tokneneng on the sidewalk or foie gras at a formal dinner with the same aplomb.
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
December 3rd, 2009 at 17:30
Ha, so this has reached you as well. Though in fairness to these people, they have the balls to act as if they have and serve people with six-digit paychecks. But right now the balls I prefer are those orange ones you posted. Yum.
December 3rd, 2009 at 18:13
After reading feedback from Daphne Oseña and Our Awesome Planet, I kind of feel bad for them. I just hope that flyer is a Gossip Girl-addicted student’s (terribly) misguided concept of what sells, and that someone in charge helps them out. Soon.
and mmm, kwek-kwek.
December 3rd, 2009 at 18:32
“This is the UPPER EAST experience. And this is the price you pay… if you can get in.” I think even people with money would have enough taste to avoid any place that tries so hard to be so pretentious.
I enjoyed this post a lot. No one roasts like you, Jessica.
Cheers.
December 3rd, 2009 at 19:25
i thought this was an april fools day joke. turns out it’s an actual restaurant in salcedo village! i feel sorry for them.
December 3rd, 2009 at 20:48
Awaiting your review of that restaurant, if you really are going.
December 4th, 2009 at 02:54
@baywolf, this is like april fool’s day on any given day of the year. i mean, come on, you cant seriously publish an ad like that and expect people to be thrilled dining at that place. i checked the website – no, it’s not an april fool’s joke
December 4th, 2009 at 09:40
Hahaa! I love this post. It’s so bitchesa and funny!! And you’re right, if you’re going to be snooty, at least make sure your English is correct. Nothing implies good breeding more than perfect grammar, punctuation–and if you’re speaking, diction and pronunciation.
Anyways, while it raised my hackles to read the press release, I still kinda want to check out the restaurant. I dunno, such chutzpah deserves a little curiosity, I guess?
December 4th, 2009 at 11:47
Aaaah-hahaha! I love it! Anyone who needs to talk down to us hoi polloi to feel important is in serious need of a shampoo.
Seriously, I spent some time in Manhattan (not a lot, but enough) and everyone I encountered was friendly; from Bambou to The Harvard Club. I don’t get this Upper East snootiness bit at all. Oh wait, pardonnez moi, hindi pala Upper East ang tinirahan ko. LOL!
December 4th, 2009 at 15:27
The first thing that came to mind was The Helium Club, that misbegotten attempt at a Pinoy (faux) glamour online reality show. Same pseudo-snooty copy written by people who think they know how to write and what they’re writing about, but don’t. Whatever happened to that one?
December 5th, 2009 at 14:02
Ms. Jessica, they won’t let you in because you grilled them well done. Very funny write up. I think it was written by one of the AHA students.
April 8th, 2010 at 15:19
I’ve read you since your Today days and have your first few books. Now also a fan of your blog.
I read the phrase “been there, been that” on one of your posts. I’ve also read the same in more than one of Chuvaness’ posts in the past. I did a cursory search on Bing, and the phrase only seems to appear in Filipino writings, and in at least one Indian website.
Is not the correct phrase, “Been there, done that?” Or is “Been there, been that” a unique Filipino variation? Or just generally an acceptable variation?