Not the Mos Eisley Cantina
Ernie and Grungella are sitting in a coffee shop late Saturday night when they sense a disturbance in The Force. As if magnetized, they turn to the next table, where they behold a stunning sight: an extremely good-looking teenage boy, a Young Clooney, having a latte with his friends.
Grungella: Extraordinary.
Ernie: Spectacular.
Grungella: Ach, pedophilia.
Ernie: Too old to attract pedophiles they are.
The Young Clooney’s table is joined by another extremely good-looking teenage boy hobbling on crutches, probably a sports injury.
Ernie: Consider Young Pitt joining Young Clooney.
Grungella: Consider not. Gawk. Or gawk not. There is no consider.
Ernie: More handsome is Young Clooney, yet sympathy Young Pitt generates.
Grungella: Are the crutches an equalizer?
Ernie: Oh yes. I sprained my arm once. Never got so many pick-up lines as when I was wearing a sling.
A quarter of an hour later, Young Clooney and Company leave, and the table is taken over by yet another good-looking teenage boy and his friends.
Grungella: In another galaxy we definitely are.
Ernie: Not nearly as handsome as the earlier ones is this new arrival, yet totally confident he is.
Grungella: Just an ass he would be if ugly he were.
Ernie: Fair life is not.
Answers to questions you might be asking, unless you wandered onto this site purely by accident >>>
June 5th, 2008 at 11:48
I read this post, to my eternal shame.
I really cannot understand why you have to use Master Yoda’s speech pattern in reconstructing a conversation between two people who salivate over pubescent males, or any male of any age for that matter. I’m sure there are more appropriate dialects to use in recreating a talk between people who are of the same sexual orientation (or taste), dialects that are much more effective in topics of this nature.
I’m sorry, I’m a fan of yours, and I admire your writing style, but this one really disappoints me.
I sometimes use Master Yoda’s speech pattern in my correspondence with friends, but now I can’t do it without being reminded of this…cringe- inducing conversation.
I’m having a hard time imagining Master Yoda drooling over a male human.
But don’t go by me; I’m sure there are lots of people who find this post intriguing, and would probably ask you for directions.
Having said that, I would like to have it on record that my favorite post is the one about you walking in a deserted street in Manhattan. Magical it was (ooops! Damn it). :-)