JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

In her column about today’s event my editor calls me a shorts-chaser.

We’d let him have one of the floors, but Noel, Joey and I haven’t bought this building yet.

Jon our straight guy columnist is looking for a place to live in Makati in the P10K a month range. Material comforts are next to no object. Sharing is an option. If you know of a place, drop us a line in Comments.

Photo by Henry Hargreaves in Gothamist.

Wherever you are on this planet we hope that you are warm and safe and Han Solo is on his way to get you.

Happy New Year, readers. If the Mayans are correct and the world will end in 2012, then it’s our last chance to do all the things we’ve been telling ourselves we’re going to do “someday”. Someday may be here, people.

Our Someday List (partial)
1. St. Petersburg, the Sahara, Patagonia, Kilimanjaro, Macchu Picchu, Antarctica
2. The major works of Dostoevsky and Tolstoy (reduced from “all”)
3. Philip Roth (Have only read The Breast)
4. The complete Aubrey-Maturin series by Patrick O’Brian
5. The Moon

Hieronymus Bosch, The Seven Deadly Sins

We don’t have enough contestants, which will put the Yucch-meter in an even fouler mood than usual, so we’re extending the deadline for LitWit Challenge 4.1 to Friday, 16 December 2010 at 12 noon.

We assume that the contestants are (a) stuck in traffic, (b) rehearsing their numbers for the company Xmas variety show and festival of embarrassment, (c) out shopping, (d) comatose from stress, (e) still thinking of a plot involving aliens that hasn’t been done to death, (f) hungover, (g) suffering the ill effects of gluttony.

Now that we think about it, Xmas the season of “peace on earth and goodwill to all men” is also peak season for the seven deadly sins:

Avarice. Presents! Presents! Gimme more presents!

Sloth. You tell yourself that there’s no point in writing that report as no work gets done during the holiday season anyway, but that’s just sloth.

Pride. Year-round offense.

Lust. Daily.

Envy. How come he gets a car and I get a lousy T-shirt?

Gluttony. The lechon was there ten seconds ago.

Wrath. What you feel when you’re standing in a long queue at the ATM and a woman is withdrawing money for 20 people from 20 separate accounts.

Cue Brad Pitt impression: What’s in the baaaax? What’s in the baaaaax?

Now we’re in the mood for some Fincher.

The movie we’re really looking forward to: The Fighter starring Mark Wahlberg, Christian Bale, Amy Adams, directed by David O. Russell. The one where Wahlberg tries to cop some Pac-Man moves. We love David O. Russell. Three Kings!

Note: Just because it involves extraterrestrials doesn’t mean that your entry has to be a science-fiction story. Just out of contrariness the Yucch-meter would be inclined to favor a story in a realist vein.

My book publisher says the printers will deliver the first batch of copies of Twisted 9 today, Thursday. Yay!

If you posted your orders here, you will receive your confirmation email in the next couple of days. If you haven’t ordered your books yet, we accept orders of ten copies or more here. As of now we can only fulfill orders within the Metro Manila area but we are looking into shipping costs to other areas.

If you have a pending order of Twisted 9, you can pick up your copies at the Meet and Greet with our columnist Jon Morales on Saturday, 11 December 2010, 7 to 9 pm at La Cuisine in Salcedo Village, Makati. Please confirm your attendance in the Comments under this post so I’ll know how many copies to bring.

listbonne, brewhuh23, jules, atomic_bum, the chronicler of boredom, Momelia: I will bring your orders to the Meet+Greet. Does anyone else plan to pick up their orders on Saturday?

Twisted 9 will be available in National Bookstores in the next couple of weeks.

Everyone is invited to the Meet and Greet with Jon. Bring your friends! The beer is cheap and there’s a good selection of wines.

La Cuisine is on the ground floor of Paseo Parkview, Sedeno corner San Agustin Street, Salcedo Village, Makati. It’s near Makati Sports Club and the Salcedo weekend market. On the Makati-bound side of Edsa, turn right on Buendia (Sen. Gil Puyat Avenue), left on Paseo de Roxas, and right again at Citibank. Turn left at the second intersection, which is San Agustin. La Cuisine is at the end of the street, on the left side.

By the way, Jon has been named to the Philippine Volcanoes squad for the test matches against Hong Kong to be played at Rizal Stadium in Manila on April 14 and 16, 2011. Yay, and of course we’re all going to watch!

Look into my eyes. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You are in my power. You will buy more copies of Twisted 9.

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They’re here! I can bring your orders on Saturday. Who’s in charge of the pool, could you send someone to pick up your copies then?

We have a limited number of copies so we can only serve advance bulk orders. If your order is part of the pool, you have to claim it with the pool. Otherwise it gets confusing.

On Thursday the Philippine Volcanoes national men’s 7s rugby team flies to Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia to compete in the Borneo 7s rugby tournament. Last year the newest, fastest-rising team in Asia shocked the established rugby powers with a runner-up finish in the Plate final (6th overall in a field of 12). This year they intend to do better—and we’ll be watching them every second, Live.

JessicaRulestheUniverse.com will cover the Philippine Volcanoes’ excellent adventure in Borneo so thoroughly, you’ll be begging us to stop. With game reports, interviews, guest bloggers, live chats, food reviews, tourism features, Filipino language lessons and more information about the team than you could possibly need.

And because we’re serious about our reportage, we’re doing video.

Make sure you have constant broadband access from 28 October to 1 November, 2010.

This exclusive coverage of the Philippine Volcanoes at the Borneo 7s is brought to you by Globe Telecom.