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Our guide the hairless Serb suggested we go to the Zizkov TV tower because “they were taking down the babies”. I had no idea what he was talking about, but this is how he always spoke (Let’s just say he’s seen things you people wouldn’t believe). The babies turned out to be David Cerny sculptures climbing up the tower, and they were being taken down for renovation.

Later that week we saw Cerny’s sculpture of two men peeing into a basin shaped like the Czech Republic. Apparently the pee stream writes quotes from famous Czechs. If you text a certain number, they will render your message in pee.

Cerny also had an installation featuring giant torsos bent from the waist down. You climbed a ladder and stuck your head where the sun don’t shine to view a video of politicians eating slop to the tune of “We Are The Champions”.

The relatively uncontroversial piece above is of a cat burglar at the modern art museum in Olomouc, across from the cathedral where Mozart had played the pipe organ. Every so often the burglar yells out something rude.

Thanks to Solana Perez for the photos.

Art Fair Philippines opened today, 16 February, and is on until Sunday, 19 February at the 5th, 6th, 7th floors and roof deck of The Link Carpark (across from Landmark) in Ayala Center, Makati. It’s open from 10am to 9pm. Entrance fee: Php250, Php50 for students with valid IDs, and Free to Makati students with valid IDs.

Damnit I’m in Korea for work so I’m going to miss it this year. Do me a favor: Take photos of your favorite artworks (No flash, please) and send them to saffron.safin@gmail.com so I can post them here.

Bird’s Hell from ‘Max Beckmann in New York’, Metropolitan Museum

We knew it was going to happen so we prepared ourselves for the outrage, but the temerity of the deed, the sheer contempt for justice and human decency challenges even the power of language.

This is an abomination.

They will not get away with this.

Fake or Fortune? unfolds like a detective series, with a painting in the office instead of a corpse in the solarium. Each episode begins with presenters Philip Mould and Fiona Bruce taking on an art mystery: Is this a genuine Turner (or Vuillard, Gainsborough, etc)? The show derives much of its charm from the pairing of Philip, an art dealer and art historian, and Fiona, a broadcast journalist. Philip is the expert, knowledgeable in the ways of the art business. Fiona is the stand-in for the audience, asking the questions we want to ask and articulating our bewilderment. Philip is generally calm and unflappable, while Fiona is emotional and expressive — she wants the paintings to be genuine, and looks crushed when they aren’t. As viewers, we feel we have a stake in the outcome of the investigation.

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Chilis in a celadon bowl by Butch Perez

Atasco (Traffic jam) by Jay Lozada

It’s the time of year when you can hear the thought waves at Salcedo Park, and they all go, “I want I want Iwantiwantiwant.” Check out the Tin-Aw booth, which features the work of our friend Chus, among other fabulosities.