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Mat: Why am I so handsome?

Cats don’t just look inscrutable…they are inscrutable. What does it mean when they sit on your computer keyboard and engage you in a staring contest while you are rushing to meet a deadline? And then when you try to play with them, why do they ignore you? How are you supposed to know which flavor or brand of cat food they want to eat today? Why must they sharpen their clothes on your favorite furniture? What are they trying to express that our human minds are too dense to perceive? Are your cats neurotic, or is it just you?

On Friday we’re doing a podcast with The Cat Whisperer, Mieshelle Nagelschneider. Nagelschneider is a professional cat behaviorist, author, and founder of The Cat Behavior Clinic based in Portland, Oregon. In her twenty-year career, she has worked with clients worldwide. Post your questions for The Cat Whisperer in Comments and we’ll relay them during our interview.

Author of the cat behavior book entitled The Cat Whisperer, Nagelschneider has appeared on Today Show, Australia’s The Circle, National Geographic Channel (Nat Geo Wild), and Animal Planet. She is a strong proponent of cats advocacy organizations and has recently endorsed the Paw Project, an anti-declawing program based in Los Angeles, and the Stray Cat Alliance, a rescue organization focused on the recovery and care of stray and feral cats.

The Cat Whisperer will appear at All About Cats, an All-Breed Cat Show presented by The International Cat Association (TICA) at at The Plaza in Newport Mall, Resorts World Manila on Saturday, 10 May 2014.

Register your cat at http://fb.com/ticaphilippines or email ticaphilippines@gmail.com. And don’t forget to post your questions for The Cat Whisperer in Comments. Email your cats’ photos to saffron.safin@gmail.com.

Saffy is very cranky and keeps trying to hex us. Note her scary stare: she is manipulating matter. She is extremely picky about her food, and will only eat after the other cats have tasted it. Probably suspects her enemies are plotting to poison her.
Thinks she is: The Scarlet Witch.

Mat is very well-behaved and proper and acts like he’s afraid of heights. He doesn’t even like to be carried. However, when we arrive at home unexpectedly, we sometimes catch him standing on top of the highest shelf. We stare at him. He stares at us. Then he jumps down and pretends that we were imagining things.
Thinks he is: Batman?

Sometimes in the dead of night we are awakened by something landing heavily beside our pillow then burrowing in our hair. It is Drogon, trying to bite our head. This is not easy as our skull is much larger than his mouth. “Maybe he’s just flossing,” says our sister. Yucch.
Thinks he is: Galactus, Devourer of Worlds.

Drogon doing yoga, photographed by his teacher

You’ve met Drogon, the youngest cat in our household. Technically we adopted him in September last year, when he was (according to the vet) about one and a half, but if there was any adopting going on, he did it. He turned up on our doorstep in August, having tagged along with Meriadoc the stray cat who turns up at mealtimes. Unlike Meriadoc, who is feral and does not allow himself to be petted, Drogon invited himself into our house, where he befriended our resident cats. He is extremely friendly. By September he had moved in completely.

Friends have noted that Drogon is unusual-looking. He has snowy white fur and blue eyes (one with an incomplete eyeball, like the Death Star under construction) but is not deaf, as far as we know, with a pink nose and pink paw pads. He is extremely sociable, likes humans, and allows his claws to be trimmed without going on a murderous rampage. He addresses us with a high-pitched meow and likes taking showers in the sink. Every time we turn on a tap, he comes running.

This is not Drogon.

Last week Juan discovered this article on exotic cat breeds.

These cats are not easy to describe, they have their own peculiarities, features of character and special peculiarity in appearance. The breed takes its origin from Thailand and its name means “White Gem”. In different parts of the world they are called “Diamond Eyes”, as these cats may have blue, gold eyes, moreover they may also have eyes of different color: one blue, one gold. The cats with odd eyes are the most popular, preferable and precious. As for their character, Khao Manees are known to be smart, active and communicative. You can recognize Manees not only by their eyes but also by the snowy white fur and pink paw pads. There are no other features that could distinguish them from ordinary domestic cats. These cats like to cuddle in your lap and cry loudly to get what they need.

The cat in the photo looks exactly like Drogon, down to the slightly cross-eyed stare. It appears that Drogon is a Khao Manee, a.k.a. White Gem or Diamond Eyes.

Drogon’s paws

Drogon approves of the name. Tina says he probably escaped from North Forbes and made his way to our building. Another origin myth! The story around here is that Mat (Matthias Eomer) our white tabby with black ears jumped out of a moving Mercedes Benz (one of the guards said he was sitting on the lap of a uniformed yaya) and took asylum in our building.

A very Roman Holiday story, and Mat is very regal. He has perfect manners, and when Saffy and Drogon misbehave he gives them a swift clout on the ear. (Mat’s ears are very slightly torn on top because when he lived outside he was always brawling with the strays.)

Koosi would’ve been 15 years old today. We miss her everyday, though we still see her in the corner of our eye, jumping from shelf to table and flaying the spines of books in the process. She picked Drogon as her successor, and since we don’t know the exact date he was born, we hereby designate 12 April as his birthday. (Our vet did say that he was about 18 months old in September last year.) So our annual ritual of divination continues.

Photo by RickyV

Happy Birthday, Drogon!

You may ask The Oracle questions about your future. Post them in Comments. Drogon will answer your questions all weekend.

I am two! Send more questions!

The oracle locket with Koosi’s kitten pictures

You can actually see the heat shimmering.

We live in the tropics and are accustomed to high temperatures, but this summer is something else. One minute we’re wearing cardigans and dining outdoors, the next minute we’re sticking our heads in the freezer to make the hell imps stop drilling our brains.

If this isn’t climate change, then we must be living on Dune.

Alejandro Jodorowsky’s adaptation of Dune is one of the greatest What-could’ve-beens in film history. Orson Welles as the Baron Harkonnen! Salvador Dali as the Padishah Emperor Shaddam Corrino IV! Charlotte Rampling as Jessica, Gloria Swanson as the Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam, Alain Delon as Duncan Idaho, and Mick Jagger as Feyd-Rautha, with H.R. Giger and Moebius doing design. The concept alone kills.

As a veteran survivor of heat-induced headaches, here are a few tips on how not to get microwaved this summer.

1. Stay indoors. Darkness is good.
2. Hydrate. Drink twice as much water as usual. (If you’re thirsty, you’re already dehydrated.)
3. Read books set someplace cold. In the fictional universe, Winter is coming. (Watching movies set in the poles is good, too.)

4. Sleep. Cats know.
5. Limit movement.
6. In case of heatstroke, sweat.

Sure, we’d like our books to be housed in shelves made by the Roentgens,

but while we wait to amass our jillions, our books have to live somewhere. They can’t just be stacked on the floor—we do need space to walk on—or crammed into shelves in rows so we can’t see what’s in the back. Nearly a month ago we bought a fake wood (particleboard) shelf kit at S&R. We haven’t had time to assemble it.

Yesterday we noticed that the cats had shredded its cardboard box, and would soon be sharpening their claws on the shelf parts themselves. So we took the pieces out of the box and lined them up on the floor.

Behind the boards you can see the chaos that requires another bookshelf.

The instructions were mystifying so we ignored them and figured out the configuration through trial and error. We were assisted by Drogon, who poked his nose into everything. In the end we managed to assemble the shelf, but the parts didn’t fit perfectly. The shelf tilted to the right and wobbled. It did not look strong enough to carry a load of books. So we took it apart and asked one of the maintenance people to assemble it properly. There was hammering and some swearing involved.

Drogon inspected the finished shelf and gave it his seal of approval.

Order in the house. For now.