JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

Personal blog of Jessica Zafra, author of The Collected Stories and the Twisted series
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Archive for the ‘Cats’

If Serendra wants to starve the stray cats to death, then we can starve their business to death. Save the cats, then boycott Serendra.

September 26, 2018 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats, Current Events No Comments →


Photos from Cats of BGC

By now you must be aware that Serendra in BGC (Remember that place where they had a gas explosion some years ago and all the tenants had to be evacuated? No not Glorietta 2, the one in BGC) prohibits residents and tenants from feeding the stray cats in the area. This is a place that styles itself as “pet-friendly”, so the hypocrisy would be laughable if it weren’t infuriating.

“As much as we value animals and promote their welfare”??? Clearly they think they are dealing with gullible idiots. A contradiction is still a contradiction even if you dress it in this season’s designer knockoffs.
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Full Moon in Quiapo

September 25, 2018 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats, Places, Shopping No Comments →


Photo by Allan Carreon

Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a warm, drizzly September in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos* get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street and yelling at random passersby—then, I account it high time to go to Quiapo as soon as I can.

Thanks, Herman Melville.

* a morbid state of mind, depression, low spirits

Everything is available in Quiapo, and at wholesale rates that make me feel like a flaming idiot for buying anything in shopping malls. Malls are for watching movies, soaking up airconditioning, and general preening. The streets and alleys of Quiapo are for shopping.

Note this combination of items approved of by the Church, and items disapproved of by the Church. I also stocked up on anting-anting.

After our consultations with our suking manghuhula, Allan my social media manager (I have two, haha, the other being Bubbles) and I had an excellent and very reasonably-priced lunch at a Chinese restaurant. (Which of us is the Fruit Salad?)

We went to Excelente for Chinese ham and queso de bola. Ham scraps, which are great on pan de sal, now cost Php1060 a kilo (!!!!!)

It was heartening to see that although Quiapo’s streets are filthy, crowded, hot and chaotic, and its regulars may not occupy overpriced condominiums or wear expensive clothes, homeless cats and dogs are given food and shelter. People are allowed to be human, unlike in Ayala Land’s Serendra condominium and dining complex, where people who dare to feed stray cats are charged huge fines. I guess claiming to support animal welfare while punishing people for actually caring for animals is their lifestyle. Of course we know what happens when there are no cats. Rats.

Cat haters, this one’s for you.

Someone heeded Saffy the Oracle’s advice and the wedding is in September. Send Saffy questions!!

August 09, 2018 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats, Cosmic Things 3 Comments →

Dear Saffy,

It has been six years since I took to heart your advice when you were oracle about going on a “charm offensive.” I realized I was holding on to nothing (no shared experiences, no true connections) with the person I was referring to when I consulted you. So instead, I used this charm on someone else, a fellow Doctor to the Barrio. We are getting married in September. I wish you and your human could attend. She loves cats.

Edrie

Dear Edrie,

Mazel tov! May you and your feline companions be very happy. We have received thank you emails from readers who were wise enough to do what I told them to do, but this is the first time my brilliant advice has led to a match. Perhaps I should start a matchmaking service, there seems to be a great need for that.

To celebrate, I shall be The Oracle for the next 24 hours (until Friday 10 August at 2130) and answer readers’ questions about their relationships. Post them in Comments.

Saffy

We cannot access the Saffy Oracle post from 2012 with all the readers’ questions, but here is the request from Edrie.

On the tenth day, images begin to ooze like confessions.

August 03, 2018 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats, Movies No Comments →


The avatar of Chris Marker’s cat Guillaume-en-Egypte, who represents Chris Marker in machinima.

The photograph of Linda Hamilton on the set of the new Terminator movie reminds me of the only time in my life I ever considered enrolling at a gym (so I could do one-arm chin-ups and fire a shotgun with one arm), and of the film that must’ve inspired Terminator (and 12 Monkeys, and Red Spectacles, and others): Chris Marker’s La Jetee. Which is really a series of photographs with a voice-over narrator, and only one scene where someone moves. Apparently Marker only had a film camera for one day. Now we can make movies with a basic phone, and none of them are La Jetee.

Chris Marker would’ve been 97 years old last July 29. He also died on July 29, a coincidence which would’ve been appreciated by an artist whose work deals with time and memory. Let’s watch La Jetee again. Are we sure we’ve seen La Jetee? That scene we remember–has it already happened? Is it a memory, is it the future?

It’s Saffy’s 18th birthday! Today she is The Oracle.

June 15, 2018 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats 24 Comments →

Happy Birthday, Saffron Sassafras Saoirse Schmitz Zafra Safin-Sprungli!

She is in excellent health, thank you. We thought that after she had several teeth taken out she would stick to soft food, but she still snacks on kibble and is especially fond of fried or roasted chicken. Saffy’s hobby is sitting on computer keyboards or notebook pages while her human is trying to write, and challenging her to a staring contest. Saffy always wins.

Today Saffy is the Birthday Oracle. Post your questions about your personal lives, careers, travel plans, pets, and everything else in Comments, and the Oracle will give you an answer.

Drogon is 6! Today he is The Oracle. Ask him all about your future.

April 12, 2018 By: jessicazafra Category: Cats, Cosmic Things 36 Comments →

Happy Birthday, Drogon Targaryen-Targaryen!

Do you have questions about life, love, work, cats, sleep, tennis, hair, coffee, sex, hopia, music, dogs, space, ink, paper, travel, anything that matters? Ask The Oracle!

Post your questions in Comments or @jessicazafrascats on Instagram. Then go and feed a stray cat, or watch A Quiet Place. By the time you come back, your answer will be waiting. Quick! The Oracle gets bored easily.

* * * * *
From Shona.

Happy Name Day! I hope to survive April, the cruellest month. Will I be able to?

Drogon says: Of course you will survive April. For starters you have to drop T.S. Eliot (It’s only temporary), and muse on other lyrics about April. I do not mean “Early morning, April 4,” because we know that the assassination occurred in the evening. Also: assassination.

I suggest e.e. cummings. Not April-specific, but spring.

Spring is like a perhaps hand
(which comes carefully
out of Nowhere)arranging
a window,into which people look(while
people stare
arranging and changing placing
carefully there a strange
thing and a known thing here)and

changing everything carefully

spring is like a perhaps
Hand in a window
(carefully to
and fro moving New and
Old things,while
people stare carefully
moving a perhaps
fraction of flower here placing
an inch of air there)and

without breaking anything.

Believe that all will be well.

Next!