JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

Yes we have two contests running at the same time but it’s a long weekend and people need something to do.

Fan fiction, once regarded as the province of freaks and obsessives, has been getting more respect. After all if you know a character very well—and many fans believe they know their favorite characters better than their own authors do—and you envision them in a situation that hasn’t occurred to their original author, why shouldn’t you write your own story? Well, lawsuits for one, but that’s if you intend to publish without permission.

Here for instance is an archive of non-canonical Buffy stories written by fans of BtVS.

In this week’s LitWit Challenge we invite you to pluck any character (or as many characters as you like) out of a beloved book and put them in a story of your own imagining. Yes you can tear off Joffrey Baratheon’s head or let Pip dump Estella. We’re lifting the word count rule so you can let your fantasies run loose. The deadline is Tuesday, 10 April 2012 at noon, and the prize is this charming book about books.

We’re waiting.

The Weekly LitWit Challenge is brought to you by our friends at National Bookstore.

Thank you for telling us what you’ve been reading. We went through the lists and tried to match readers with books they might enjoy.

Salmon Fishing in the Yemen by Paul Torday (now a film starring Ewan MacGregor) – lestat

I Never Liked You, a comic book by Chester Brown – Taribong

The Marriage Plot by Jeffrey Eugenides – bottlerocket, because you’re reading David Foster Wallace and one of the protagonists is supposedly based on him.

Dr. Zhivago by Boris Pasternak in the new translation by Pevear and Volokhonsky – mcmorco

The Tremor of Forgery by Patricia Highsmith (creator of Ripley; lots of anomie, sociopaths, people getting away with bloody murder) – Momelia

The Life of an Unknown Man by Andrei Makine – maelynda

When the Nines Roll Over by David Benioff – tfkjw (It’s an old copy so we threw in some review copies.)

Monstress, a short story collection by Lysley Tenorio (Fil-American) – johnbristol6

Till I End My Song, last poems by famous poets, selected by Harold Bloom – Jen

The Rehearsal by Eleanor Catton (slightly read) – lionheart147

Camus, A Romance by Elizabeth Hawes – ruthd

Spymistress, a biography of WWII spy Vera Atkins – jepotskie

The Millennium Trilogy – Ellizoid

The Accident by Ismail Kadare – go_light

The Tragedy of Arthur by Arthur Phillips – hastydevil

The Last Station by Jay Parini – siege16

The Tiger’s Wife by Tea Obreht (Cat not included) – eraser

Fantastic Women, an anthology of fantastic tales – Paul Bryan

Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah the bestselling superhero komiks by Carlo Vergara and Si Crispin, a spinoff from Rizal’s Noli me tangere by Tony Perez – gigics

Everything You Know by Zoe Heller (Author of Notes on a Scandal; you mentioned Dame Judi Dench) – ruth

If you’ve already read the book, give it away.

Claim your prizes at the Customer Service Counter of National Bookstore in Power Plant Mall, Rockwell, Makati, starting on Wednesday, 28 March 2012. They will be filed under your username. The books will be there for 3 months. You don’t have to claim the book personally, you can send someone.

And if you don’t like the book, give it away.

The Weekly LitWit Challenge is brought to you by our friends at National Bookstore.

Rafael

and pantas_magoria (who wins not so much for the drawing as the description and our ensuing “That’s it??”).

“Here’s my entry for the contest. I went the severe, maximalist minimalist route here. It doesn’t depart very much from the JC costume in book and movie. It is rather a reimagination. I utilized the rough edges of loincloth as point of interest in “skirt.” Then I used zippers and pockets not just for their obvious use but to lend garb some utilitarian chic that is quite rigid, becoming a nice counterpart to “looseness” of whole loincloth.”

Congratulations, Rafael and pantas_magoria! Please post your full names in Comments (They won’t be published). After we get your real names we will deliver your prize watches to Wild Ginger (basement of Power Plant Mall, Rockwell Makati), where you can pick them up any time in the next 3 months. Just show/send ID.

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Thank you, winners. You can pick up your watches at Wild Ginger starting Thursday next week. Sorry for the delay, travelling.

We’ve realized that most people have no idea who John Carter of Mars is, and it’s hard to design a costume that works for someone you don’t know. So we’re moving the deadline to 13 March 2012, after the movie has opened.

Also it might be useful to give the star a GPS or a smartphone with Google apps so he knows where he is at all times and can correct misimpressions.

Here’s Mat wearing the prize during his early evening nap (not to be confused with his twilight siesta).

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This is Taylor Kitsch as John Carter in the movie that opens March 9.

Fabulous-looking man, but the loincloth-and-breastplate costume is a little tired. Of course the outfit is faithful to the description supplied by Edgar Rice Burroughs in A Princess of Mars and the succeeding volumes in the John Carter Barsoom series, so the filmmakers are doing their job well. However, much as we love the Barsoom series we grew up on, we think the costume could be freshened up. Edgar Rice Burroughs: wonderful writer of timeless adventures, but what was his other famous creation Tarzan wearing? A loincloth, you know what we’re saying?

Remember those endless Tarzan reruns on Channel 13, where they would show ancient Johnny Weismuller movies like Tarzan’s New York Adventure? In that one, Tarzan travels to Manhattan and he can’t go around in the old loincloth unless it’s Saturday night in Chelsea. So Jane takes him to a tailor, where he proceeds to rip all the suits he tries on with his massive back muscles.

But back to the John Carter costume issue. A couple of years ago we had our super-popular Dress Up the Prince of Persia contest in which we put your designs on Jake Gyllenhaal’s body, and the creators of the best designs won special edition watches. This time we’re asking you to Dress Up John Carter, and the three people who send in the winning designs get special edition John Carter watches you can’t buy in stores.

Remember: the design must be appropriate to the climate, terrain and culture of Mars. Desert, basically, arid, cold at night, warring tribes not all humanoid. Method designers can read A Princess of Mars at Project Gutenberg for the design requirements. (If you’re not designing a costume read it anyway, the series is a blast.)

Make it work, but most of all, Make it fabulous. Send your drawings to saffron.safin@gmail.com. We’ll post your designs daily. Deadline for the submission of entries is on 6 March 2012 at noon.

Thanks to Jay at Disney for the prizes!

As he stares into the boiling crater of Mt Doom Frodo yields to the temptation of the Ring and decides to keep it for himself. The hordes of Sauron defeat the armies of Men. Orcs rule Middle-Earth, boot out the Elves, outlaw monarchy and establish a representative democracy.

Voldemort finally kills Harry Potter and takes over the world.

Bella, Edward and Jacob turn on their author and bite her.

Estella realizes the error of her ways, throws herself at Pip’s feet and begs him to marry her.

Briony Tallis does not reveal what really happened to Cecilia and Robbie.

As the plane takes off carrying Viktor Lazslo and Ilsa, Rick reveals to Louis that he still has those letters of transit and they can leave Casablanca. “I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship,” he declares, whereupon Louis grabs him and kisses him passionately.

This week’s LitWit Challenge: Rewrite the ending of a novel or movie in 1,000 words or less.

The prize: Till I End My Song: A Gathering of Last Poems edited by Harold Bloom, a Sheaffer Sentinel pen, and two movie posters (It’s a surprise).

Sheaffer pens are available exclusively at select National Bookstore branches.

Submit your entry in Comments by 12 noon on Sunday, 4 March 2012.

The Weekly LitWit Challenge is brought to you by our friends at National Bookstore.

Twisted volumes 1 to 9 are all in print and available at National Bookstore. If your branch does not have some titles, ask their Customer Service staff to find out which branch has those titles. If you ask nicely they may even have the title delivered to your branch.

THIS CONTEST IS EXTENDED. The new deadline is 21 February 2012 at noon.

EDSA, 7 February 2012

The winner of the Weekly LitWit Challenge 8.4: Which is better, the book or the movie? is——Nobody. Nobody wins. Not just because all the entries gave perfunctory answers, but because they didn’t really talk about the book or the movie, they talked about themselves.

So last week’s prizes will be added to this week’s contest.

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Almost forgot: If there are no other claimants in our Roger-Rafa prediction contest, the winner is Poli. Poli, please claim your your copy of Bossypants by Tina Fey at the Customer Service counter at National Bookstore in Rockwell.

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We’ve been covering Boysen KNOxOUT’s Project Edsa, the world’s first large-scale public art project using paints that can clean noxious air pollutants. The third wall in the series, by the filmmaker and architect, Tapio Snellman, was unveiled last week at the Cubao underpass.

For the Weekly LitWit Challenge 8.5 we’re focusing on Metro Manila’s main artery, Epifanio de los Santos Avenue. In 1,000 words or less, write a story that takes place right on Edsa. It can be a science-fiction tale, a melodrama, a horror story, a romance, a comedy, anything, as long as it happens on Edsa.

Apart from The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo poster and a copy of The Boy in the Suitcase, this week’s winner will receive a tote bag featuring the Project Edsa artwork on Ortigas by Baby and Coco Anne, and two paperbacks: Matterhorn by Karl Marlantes and Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami.

Finalists will receive movie posters and tote bags. Thanks to Boysen KNOxOUT for the bags.

We’ll accept submissions until Tuesday, 14 February 2012.

The Weekly LitWit Challenge is brought to you by our friends at National Bookstore.

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By the way the Yucch-meter is on board for this one so the over-sensitive need not apply.

The Yucch-meter’s reactions in Comments.