JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

Thank you for submitting your entries, apologies for the delayed announcement. Have been sleeping off The Worst Cold of the Year for the last 48 hours. We have learned a vital lesson: Never fly when you are congested. When the plane starts descending, the cabin pressure drop will make you feel like your head is going to explode. We were deaf for a half hour after landing…and then we got on another plane. It was excruciating.

Thanks to the ministrations of our cats we are feeling much better, though still amazed that a human body can contain so much viscous green snot.

In case you attended the panel on Humor at the Manila International Literary Festival, apologies for our absence. We emailed the organizers yesterday that we were not likely to recover our powers of coherent speech by today. And we had been looking forward to discussing irony at the M.I.L.F.

But that’s enough about green snot. We enjoyed reading your entries. One was annoying (Oh wow you know the plot), a couple were creepy (not atmospheric creepy, diagnostic creepy); our favorites were the letters from johnbristol6 and Momelia. Except that we couldn’t figure out which literary character johnbristol6’s break-up letter was addressed to, though their relationship seemed quite literary. (We thought he meant Nabokov’s Ada but we don’t think she spoke bekinese.) (Update: Thanks for the information: Ada is ZsaZsa Zaturnnah’s alter ego.) Momelia’s is meant for the Tin Man obviously, and we get a clear impression of the writer’s personality while the other letters only spoke of the addressee.

Speaking of the Tin Man, Alan Moore and Melinda Gebbie’s graphic novel Lost Girls retells the stories of Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, Alice from Alice in Wonderland, and Wendy from Peter Pan. With tons of sex. Not for kids.

The Winner of the Weekly LitWit Challenge 7.6 is Momelia. johnbristol6 gets a consolation prize: Ang Huling Dalagang Bukid at Ang Authobiography Na Mali: Isang Imbestigasyon by Jun Cruz Reyes (Since we’re hoping johnbristol6 will write a novel). Congratulations! You may pick up your books any day starting Saturday 19 November 2011 at the Customer Service counter of National Bookstore at Power Plant Mall, Rockwell, Makati.

The Weekly LitWit Challenge is brought to you by our friends at National Bookstore. LitWit 7.7 is coming up.

We’re accepting entries until noon tomorrow. Read the entries by two of our regular winners, Momelia and johnbristol6.

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While trying to avoid the latest findings in the Ramgen Revilla murder case we ran headlong into the news that John Lloyd Cruz had broken up with his girlfriend. Which got us to wondering: How do you break up with a famous boyfriend or girlfriend?

Well what about your literary boyfriend or girlfriend?

This being the Weekly LitWit Challenge, we would write them a letter.

So in this week’s challenge you’re going to break up with your literary lover. Raskolnikov, Clarissa, Bruce Wayne, Bathsheba Everdene, Gimli son of Gloin (Gimli son of Gloin?), Morgan Le Fay, the Vicomte de Valmont…whoever they are, you’re through with them.

In 1,000 words or less, write a letter to your literary boyfriend or girlfriend declaring that you have fallen out of love with them and expelling them from your life. Cram it with juicy details, make us believe that your literary romance is real. (Edward, I can put up with your surliness but I cannot condone locking up your wife in the attic, I do not care how bonkers she is.) The most hysterical letter wins.

Post your letter in Comments by 12 noon on Sunday, 13 November 2011. The prize consists of two books:

The Guinness Book of World Records 2012 and The Best American Short Stories 2011.

The Weekly LitWit Challenge is brought to you by our friends at National Bookstore.

Model Contemplating Sculpture from Pablo Picasso’s Suite Vollard, on view at the Metropolitan Museum of Manila from 10 November 2011 to 8 January 2012. For details visit www.metmuseum.ph.

turmukoy for the Twister to the Death story. Short and punchy works for us. Congratulations, you can claim your books at the 5th anniversary party on Thursday.

We also enjoyed the Pankration Gyrations by ambulant feather, but that consciously mannered style demands perfect grammar.

Cacs, you spend seven paragraphs building up to the big idea, and then you rush the revelation in three. Redo this, it could work. Don’t explain, dramatize.

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ATTENTION: PREVIOUS WINNERS

Juned (LitWit Challenge 7.4), scientist (In Time) and shadowplay (In Time): you can pick up your book or iPhone 4 case at the Customer Service Counter of National Bookstore at Power Plant Mall, Rockwell, Makati, any day starting Wednesday, 9 November 2011. Their number is (02)8974562.

strangeattractor313 (LitWit 7.4) and radiohead (In Time): We cannot deliver your prizes until we have your full names. Please post them in Comments, we assure you that they will not be published.

The Weekly LitWit Challenge is brought to you by our friends at National Bookstore.

Oops, we got the date of the deadline wrong. Submit your entries by 11.59 pm tonight, November 7, 2011.

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Here’s one of the etchings from Picasso’s Suite Vollard, on view at the Metropolitan Museum of Manila at the Central Bank complex on Roxas Boulevard, Manila, starting 10 November.

What is going on here? Make up a story in 1,000 words or less and post it in Comments on or before Monday, 7 November 2011, at 11.59 pm. The winner will receive these three books:

An Object of Beauty by Steve Martin, The Magicians by Lev Grossman, and Why I Am So Wise (Ecce Homo) by Friedrich Nietzche.

The Weekly LitWit Challenge is brought to you by our friends at National Bookstore.

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The winners of the Weekly LitWit Challenge 7.5: Spy Story are juned and strange attractor313. We didn’t get many entries—the espionage tale is a demanding genre—but we are very pleased with these two. strangeattractor313, you get a bonus for spinning off an episode in the Smiley books. Apart from the fresh copy of Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, you will receive Spymistress: The Life of Vera Atkins, The Greatest Female Secret Agent of World War II by William Stevenson.

Congratulations! Please post your full names in Comments (They won’t be published) and we’ll alert you when you can pick up your prizes at National Bookstore, Power Plant Mall, Rockwell, Makati. Or you can claim them at the 5th anniversary cocktails on November 10—let us know if you can make it.

The winner of LitWit Challenge 7.3: 14 months till the end of the world is dindin. Congratulations! Please pick up your prize at the Customer Service counter at National Bookstore, Power Plant Mall, Rockwell, Makati. Their number is 8974562.

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Photo: Saffron Sassafras Saoirse Schmitz Z. Safin with her luggage.

You are a spy from a foreign country. (You can be female or male, with all the undercover skills.) Your cover has been blown and you are in mortal danger. You hop on the first available flight and it takes you to Manila. You have no money and no friends in this city. All you have is a suitcase of designer clothes. You need to lay low until Control gives you the signal to surface. You have to find a place to live and a way to support yourself for at least one month. What will you do?

500 words or less, due Saturday, 29 October 2011 at 11.59 pm. Three winners will win copies of the movie tie-in edition of John LeCarré’s spy classic Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.

The Weekly LitWit Challenge is brought to you by our friends at National Bookstore.

Koosalagoopagoop Galadriel Z. Ivanisevic Carter-O’Brien

You will need your cat’s cooperation. The contest is here. Thanks to Tina at FPN for running the page!