Manila, look out the window at noon. This is Arrakis.
You can actually see the heat shimmering.
We live in the tropics and are accustomed to high temperatures, but this summer is something else. One minute we’re wearing cardigans and dining outdoors, the next minute we’re sticking our heads in the freezer to make the hell imps stop drilling our brains.
If this isn’t climate change, then we must be living on Dune.
Alejandro Jodorowsky’s adaptation of Dune is one of the greatest What-could’ve-beens in film history. Orson Welles as the Baron Harkonnen! Salvador Dali as the Padishah Emperor Shaddam Corrino IV! Charlotte Rampling as Jessica, Gloria Swanson as the Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam, Alain Delon as Duncan Idaho, and Mick Jagger as Feyd-Rautha, with H.R. Giger and Moebius doing design. The concept alone kills.
As a veteran survivor of heat-induced headaches, here are a few tips on how not to get microwaved this summer.
1. Stay indoors. Darkness is good.
2. Hydrate. Drink twice as much water as usual. (If you’re thirsty, you’re already dehydrated.)
3. Read books set someplace cold. In the fictional universe, Winter is coming. (Watching movies set in the poles is good, too.)
4. Sleep. Cats know.
5. Limit movement.
6. In case of heatstroke, sweat.