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Sleeping Around With Jon, definitely not an advice column. More like biology, anthropology and tourism. Or as we say every time we hear of his adventures, “Malapit ka nang habulin ng itak.” Starting next week, or as soon as our columnist coughs up his 500 words.

That’s the title of Jon Morales’s new column, coming soon to this site.

It’s about men and women. And real estate. And women. And living without furniture. And women. And apocalyptic parties. And sex before dating vs dating before sex.

Have we mentioned that it’s about women?

If you need an easy peg, think Sex and The City, the Y-chromosome version. Jon explains it.

You have to be 18 and above to read our new column, Sleeping Around With Jon. If you’re below 18, tell your mother to read it.

Underwear ads are cute. Intelligence is sexy.

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Reading assignment: The Whore of Mensa by Woody Allen.

by the Gaz News Network. Please link to this page; do not copy/paste.

Last Sunday at the GMA studios we gave Gaz a short history of Philippine television. “See that? That’s German Moreno. He’s an institution. Many of the biggest stars in the Philippines got their break on his TV shows. In the 80s he was host of GMA Supershow every Sunday and That’s Entertainment every day. People thought ‘GMA’ meant ‘German Moreno & Associates’. Also, the National Museum should do a retrospective of his outfits.”

Caption this. Best caption gets a prize. (It’s a surprise!)

We watched Party Pilipinas live in the studio, close enough to the stage to feel the heat, literally. There were flames shooting out of the stage.

Cute guy alert. He can dance. Hey it’s hotdog pitchman Aljur Abrenica.

Then we waited in the upstairs dressing rooms as Gaz was interviewed on the entertainment talk show Showbiz Central. Here is the boss of Team Gaz looking on.

Straight from the studio we rushed to SM City in Masinag for his meet-and-greet and rugby demo for the kids of ChildHope Asia. ChildHope is a non-profit organization securing social justice for children and young people in Africa, Asia and South America.

The event was hosted by Mico Aytona, who is recording his first album. It will contain original material and remakes of OPM hits. We recommended that he sing those Hajji Alejandro Pinoy versions of American pop hits like Panakip Butas and Tag-Araw. Special guest Ogie Alcasid sang a song.

The kids had a great time, and so did Gaz who would rather teach rugby to kids all day than appear in a musical number. Thanks to Team Gaz and ChildHope Asia for making this happen. After this very long day we all had dinner at Max’s Fried Chicken and Gaz learned what “bagoong” is.

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Gaz factoids
1. His favorite clothing brand is AllSaints.
2. World Cup prediction: “Wales has an even chance against France.”
3. He can sing “Chim chiminey Chim chiminey Chim chim cher-oo” from Mary Poppins.

Gaz is flying back to Japan this morning to prepare for the next round of matches with his team, Kyuden Voltex. “I had a great time in Manila. This is all new to me and I’m actually sad to be leaving. Thank you everyone. See you soon.”

Have a safe trip, Gaz! See you very soon, on a billboard if not in person.

by the Gaz News Network. Please link to this post; do not cut and paste.

We’re having technical problems so the photos will be posted later. Here’s the trailer.

Last month when the Gareth Holgate media blitz was being organized we informed Gareth Holgate of the planned guest appearance on Party Pilipinas, the Sunday variety show on GMA-7.

“Can you sing with Solenn Heussaff and Lovi Poe?” we asked.

“No way I’m going to sing on TV,” Gaz said.

“Can you dance with Solenn and Lovi?”

“No way I’m going to dance on TV.”

“Can you play guitar while Solenn and Lovi sing?”

“I’m not good enough to play guitar on TV.”

“What are you going to do, stand there while Solenn and Lovi sing at you?”

“I can do that!”

And that’s what he did today.

The wonderful choreographers of Party Pilipinas devised some very basic steps for him which he could execute easily enough in rehearsal, but he did not feel comfortable doing anything that might be construed as dancing on national TV. As we do not wish our friends to hurl on-camera, all hip-centric movements were removed, leaving a literal walk-on. Solenn, Lovi, the Party Pilipinas dancers, fire and smoke did all the work; Gaz’s assignment was to stand there in a tank top and jeans and smile.

And that is how Gaz Holgate was introduced to the general Filipino public.

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We’ve acquired a new respect for our homegrown performers after seeing Party Pilipinas live in the studio. Clearly the days when you could plonk a random good-looking mestizo/mestiza in front of a camera and make them move their lips to a recorded track while shuffling left and right are gone.

These guys can dance. Not all of them have great voices, but when they have to sing they do it with verve and conviction. Hard work overcomes all deficiencies. They’re professionals. (Fortunately Gaz is not going to do this for a living. He already has a career.)

So showbiz is no longer the quick and easy way for the pretty and white to make big bucks. You’d better have something extraordinary. You’d better be compelling. You have to sing and dance better than the average Pinoy on the street, and you know Pinoys rule at this. We are the people who watch American Idol and X-Factor and say, “Ha? Yan lang? Mas magaling pa yung tindero ng kwek-kwek diyan sa kanto.”

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Conversation of the day

Them: I would never do anything like that (i.e. Appear in a production number on a variety show with the two hottest women in showbiz).

Us: Yeah, who asked you?

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The We’ll Make This About Ourself Department: Any day that requires us to crawl out of bed 3 hours early after a day of hurling our guts out (food poisoning) in order to assuage people’s fear and doubt while missing two quarterfinal matches of the Rugby World Cup is a hellish day. This is why we work alone, as we keep reminding people and they keep not listening. We would have imploded without the help of Bubbles Magpayo, Leo Dominguez and his staff, JJ Henson, Jon Morales, Noel Flowers, and our super-cool BFF. Thanks.

by GNN, the Gaz News Network. Please link to this page; do not copy and paste.

At 1030 am yesterday Gaz Holgate visited Amado T. Reyes Elementary School in Buayang Bato, Mandaluyong to assist in National Book Store Foundation’s Project Aral.

Gaz gave a short talk to the 133 pupils of the school, which is located right beside the Pasig River. The school buildings will soon undergo renovation in order to accommodate more students. National Book Store will build the school’s new library.

Kids are a tough audience, but they perked up when Gaz gave a demonstration of basic rugby skills.

Afterwards Gaz distributed Project Aral kits containing notebooks and pencils to the children from the 1st to the 6th grades. National Book Store Foundation has donated school supplies and books to public schools from Saranggani to the Babuyan Islands.

The next hour was spent posing for pictures, then signing the kids’ new notebooks, shirts, and arms (Lagot kayo sa mga nanay ninyo). Bubbles noted Gaz’s excellent swarm algorithm—he could not turn without being covered in children. (As Noel observed: Para siyang bata na tinubuan ng katawan.)

Afterwards we had lunch at the head office of National Bookstore on Pioneer Street. Gaz met Nanay Socorro Ramos, the woman who founded the country’s largest bookstore chain 70 years ago.

“Okay ah, hinahalikan lahat ng nakikilala,” (Okay, he kisses everyone he’s introduced to) Nanay noted.

“Pagsabihan po namin na tigilan niya yan?” (Should we tell him to stop?)

“Huwag, pero baka mahawa siya kung may sakit. (No, but he could catch germs.) How old are you, 18?”

“23, ma’am.”

“I’m 88,” Nanay announced. We can only hope to be as energetic as she is when we’re 60.

Special thanks to Bea and Chad of National Book Store Foundation for making the school visit happen. (It was scheduled for last week but typhoon Pedring cancelled it.)

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Gaz factoids.
1. For the school visit he wore a white T-shirt by Sisley, Levi’s cutoffs, white Fred Perry sneakers and Wayfarers.
2. Gaz is a moviegoer. Today he mentioned Before Sunrise and Before Sunset.
3. Naturally he is rooting for Wales in the Rugby World Cup. (In tomorrow’s match we’re pro-Ireland!)

by GNN, the Gaz News Network

Duckface was free most of the day so he went to the gym, then he bought a pair of dress shoes. We’ve already mentioned his shoes, right? Ferragamo, call us.

Team Gaz had dinner at Escolta at the Peninsula Manila with GMA Network management (L-R): Annette Gozon, Tracy Garcia, and Arsi Baltazar. During dinner Tracy looked at Gaz and said, “You look like someone. An actor. What was that movie?”

Watch out in 5, 4, 3, 2. . .

“Phone Booth! Colin Farrell.”

Average number of times this resemblance is mentioned per day: 10.5. Colin, please call us so we can explain personally.

Then Gaz had to get ready for the Esquire launch at the Rigodon Ballroom of the Pen. In his haste he cut himself while shaving and bled onto his suit by J.C. Buendia. He wore his own skinny tie, which he knotted like a good public school boy.

Gaz was escorting Lovi Poe to the Esquire event. (Gaz will appear in the music video for the first song off her third album.) Lovi was supposed to wear a debutante-type gown (like a cake) but she ditched it for something that was more her style. She looks stunning, no?

“Don’t leave your date, okay. Put your hand on the small of her back,” we told Gaz.

“Can I do that?” he said.

“Can he do that?” we asked Lovi.

“Okay,” Lovi said.

“Thanks mom,” Gaz said.

“Stupid child, we might as well tell you. Colin Farrell is your father.”

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Gaz factoids.
1. He wears size 9 (UK) shoes.
2. He’s learning Nihongo, spoken and written.
3. He sings songs that are older than he is—Don’t Stop Believing by Journey, You Give Love A Bad Name by Bon Jovi—in karaoke bars, but he will not sing on TV.