JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

It has recently come to our attention that we are no longer the only people ripping off Tom Waits titles for our writing. Jon Morales our missing straight guy columnist has infringed on our infringement monopoly, referencing Brawlers, Bawlers and Bastards in his twitter profile. Yes he is on twitter, @jonnymo.

We caught up with Jon Sunday night to discuss a wide range of topics, from his Tagalog proficiency and cooking skills to the girlfriend to city ratio of his nomadic existence. In this video we talk about Tom Waits, whether The Wire is the greatest TV series ever, the artistic ambitions of Kanye West, why the Black Eyed Peas should just go away, the toxicology report on Amy Winehouse, being a fan of Maldita, and which Eraserheads songs he knows.

Shot 9/11/11 by my Macbook Air. (Not super-clear, but uploading the file takes much less time.)

Shot at the Hanyang University Guest Residence, Ansan, Korea in June 2011.
Starring Justin Coveney and Gaz Holgate.
Styling by themselves.
Jessica’s Fedora by Adora.
Cinematography by Jessica and the amazing point-and-shoot camera.
Justin’s accent by Australia.
Gaz’s accent by Wales.
Gaz’s and Justin’s muscles by their genes and weight training.
Gaz’s motion capture facial animation by Gaz’s nervous system.
Justin’s cross-examination skills by his law school.
Gaz’s hair by Giorgio Sgarbi.

This is for reader jeromeshuny who is expecting.

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Thanks to Kara Ortiga at Young Star for mentioning my work in her column today in the Philippine Star. It’s nice to be acknowledged. Read Kara’s column here.

To the movie group date: Please look for Jon at the lobby of the IMAX Theatre at SM Mall of Asia tonight at 7pm. If you can’t find him, go to the reception desk and look for Jay Gonzales. He’ll have your tickets.

The movie starts at 8pm. Enjoy!

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Jon has chosen his movie dates for tomorrow’s Contagion premiere! They are:

“Sansa, ifrico, luthien’s sister. The second is a guy, right? Wanna pick two girls, one guy. So gender normative, I know.”

Congratulations! Please confirm your attendance by 9 am tomorrow, and post your mobile numbers (They won’t be published) so we know how to contact you. The meeting place is the lobby of the IMAX Theatre at SM Mall of Asia, 7 pm tomorrow.

If you weren’t picked, do not despair! The choices were fairly random, and we will have another meet-and-greet soon.

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Yes you read that right: You can be Jon’s plus one to the premiere of Steven Soderbergh’s Contagion this Thursday, 8 September 2011, at the IMAX Theatre, SM Mall of Asia. Cocktails at 7 pm, screening at 8.

You’ll be spending the evening with:

Matt Damon – who looks like Philip Seymour Hoffman here but we love him anyway.
Marion Cotillard – Fabulous!
Kate Winslet – Taroush!
Jude Law – not aging well but if you squint hard enough he’s still Dickie Greenleaf.
Laurence Fishburne – Oy, Morpheus has been at the real-life buffet but hey it’s CSI guy.
Gwyneth Paltrow – Her character dies in the trailer, do the producers consider that a selling point?

All of the above onscreen, and in the next seat, our delinquent straight guy columnist Jon Morales of the national men’s rugby team. Jon is the rare Nerd-Jock hybrid: He may have quads of steel, but he also knows the contenders for the Iron Throne!
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Under-the-table view of my friends and I at lunch.

We were having lunch at Chateau in Greenbelt when there was a disturbance in The Force.

“Aha!” I said, “Several rugby players are at Bubba Gump. I should say Hi. Who wants to come with me?”

Silence fell over the table.

“Hindi ako handa,” said The Count.

“I’m not ready,” Ernie translated.

“This is more your thing, really,” Bert added.

“What is this world coming to that baklas refuse an introduction to rugby players?” I asked.

“Go, go, we’ll be at Prada.”

From left: Jake Letts (captain), Jon (Jon, not John, not Jhon) Morales, Ken Stern, Rupert Zappia, Andrew Wolff (Two Fs! How hard is it to remember that?), Oliver Saunders (misidentified in the A5N video as Chris Everingham), Chris Hitch, Chris Everingham.
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via Vulture

Here he is in real life, breaking up a street fight (more like an intense argument) in St Mark’s Place in New York. Apparently the men are fighting over a painting. People are standing around watching them, including the girl taking the video. Ryan is wearing a striped tank top and rolled-up pants, an ensemble that would be tragic on anyone but Ryan. You’re a mensch, mwah, we will watch all your movies, is Drive going to be shown here? We’re already training our brains to process the sight of you and George Clooney onscreen at the same time in Ides of March.

Now that we’ve ascertained there is at least one decent gorgeous man walking the earth, let’s talk about the person holding the camera. Giggling and shrieking at the sight of Ryan Gosling is not just understandable but right. Except that she was thrilled even before he appeared. She was thrilled to be watching a violent episode that could’ve gotten very ugly.

In these situations it would be foolhardy to intervene (unless one is a star who presumably has had fight training), but you can’t just look on and giggle. You report it, you get help. But she and her friend watched the fight as if it were a scene from a reality show on television (and she was watching it on a screen, her camera’s). Reality shows have made reality seem artificial. (Corollary: Good television makes the artificial seem real.)

To underscore the…disconnectedness of the videographer, the video is entitled “st marks place fight with Ryan Gosling yes i stood there ..why would i wanna get hit in the face??” Note the casual obtuseness. Oy.

Looking at pictures of Marat Safin on the internet.

From Roland Garros, Marat with a book.

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