JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

I have a “friend-friend” (and by “friend-friend”, we mean “prospect” in the girl dictionary). His whole family was in town recently. They moved to Australia when they were kids. Weeks before they came to visit he asked me if I could show him around. I was willing and gracious. I even came up with a few suggestions that would make the local tourism industry proud. He announced to a bunch of people that we would be going out.

Then he came and went. If not for his twitter updates I wouldn’t have known he’d been here. I was waiting for him to call me but I haven’t heard anything from him to this day. I don’t know why. Nada. If he was running on a tight schedule and he could not find time to meet me, he should have at least let me know, right? But I was completely ignored. It’s not as if I’m asking for an explanation or an apology. But is courtesy too much to ask for these days?

This November I’ll be in Australia to attend my cousin’s wedding (and yeah…pray I get to see Chris Hemsworth, any of the Saunderses or Justin Coveney). The risk of bumping into “friend-friend” while I’m there, or of him knowing I would be devouring kangaroo steak is very high as his parents are very close to my family, who are also based in Sydney. (The oldies are childhood friends.) How do I conduct myself when this happens? Should I even let him know beforehand that I’m gonna be there?

I usually freak out when total strangers declare their love for me. I become cold and distant, ignore them, and hope they go away. But I’ll give you a chance.

I also feel that you are toying with my emotions. You say that you love me but you also, unabashedly, show keen interest in other men i.e. members of the Philippine Volcanoes and “friend-friend”. Are you just trying to make me jealous so that I will say “I love you” back? Is this going to be a cycle in our relationship?

You can also see your desired rugby players when they come here for games. Just be vigilant for updates. I hear that a number of them will be around in the next few months. Keep your eyes peeled.

You are obviously not over “friend-friend” or you would not be asking for advice from me. It’s like a very cold knife has been thrust into my heart. However, I will not deny you your happiness. I will let you go. As Mariah Carey wisely said: “Now I understand to hold you I must open up my hands and watch you rise”. Is this what you really want?

The fact that he did not make contact with you when he was here can be a sign that he is not interested in you (How could you? You were seeing someone behind my back?). Do not lose heart for there is still hope (I can’t believe I’m letting you go). You can still test the waters by sending out a generic tweet that you are excited to go to Australia for your cousin’s wedding.

Do not, and I repeat, do not direct this tweet at him. Let him take the bait. If he does, do not mention that you felt he was rude when he did not contact you while he was here. You will come off as needy, clingy and possessive. Do not make any hints that you want him to see you there. Remember, he had the chance to see you and he blew it. He has to adjust to your schedule when you are there. But if he will not take the bait, you may lower your hopes and feel free to be crushed (I will be around to comfort you, your rebound man/woman).

In the event that you bump into him in Australia, be pleasant and friendly. Do not bring up the fact that he snubbed you. Say “Hello” and chat for a while then move on to the other guests. I am sure there will be other prospects there (I feel another painful twinge in my heart because you will be moving farther away from me). If you are still interested in him by then, let him be the one to try to catch you in a conversation. If he asks you out (Nooooh!), tell him your schedule and let him adjust to it. If he does not ask you out (Again, do not hint that you want to ask him out) it’s the end. Come back to me or flirt with the other attractive guests.

I have been an avid follower of your column and I have enjoyed my position as a reader, reading through most of the love stories and sometimes vicariously feeling the letter senders’ agony. I never really thought I’d be writing you until I realized I needed and wanted to do so. I am 24 years old and I have never had a serious, labeled, and clearly defined romantic relationship with the opposite sex ever. The idea of being someone’s girlfriend scares me because of the responsibility, commitment and the “limited” freedom that it calls for.

I also have difficulty being vulnerable and weak in front of people. I would say I am a very logical, head-on person and I am never timid nor submissive. These greatly influenced my relationships with guys, which never really reached serious status and all ended up as mere short-term flirtations, teases and flings.

I had been comfortable with this kind of set-up until recently an old friend started reconnecting with me again after months of being “distant and cold”. These months of being “distant and cold” happened after his failed attempt to pursue me and he has been in two relationships since then. I rejected his feelings for me before because of my fears. Also I felt he was being impersonal as he would just express himself through SMS. I felt I deserved more than that so I dismissed him.

However, our communication relationship was not quite affected and when we talked he would act as if no proposal had been made and nothing happened (I must be honest, this bruised my pride).

Five months ago this guy and I had to meet to prepare our consolidated surprise birthday gift for our common friend. That meet-up started the re-connection. He would send an SMS to me and ask me about my day and we would end up chatting for hours. His messages would come in from time to time, becoming frequent until they became daily. I thought I was in control. I would tell myself “Hey, you’re familiar with this set-up” until I found myself actually liking him.

He would invite me to join him skimboarding or go swimming but I would decline because that is his territory and I would feel vulnerable. He would constantly say he misses me. At first I would ignore the messages but his persistence got me until I would respond by saying I miss him too (I truly do). Now we are like people in a relationship except for the fact that we really are not. One time while we were on a bus he held my hand as if we were a couple and I let him. He caressed my face and kissed my cheeks and I let him. He whispered that he misses me and that really made me happy.

I know I am supposed to be familiar with this picture, I’ve had this before, but I feel different, like it’s something deeper. I wanted us to be “us” but I don’t know how to make this set-up turn into the real relationship that I wanted. I don’t want to confront him because I want him to be the one do it, after all he’s the guy. I still have my fears but this time I think I am willing to take the plunge. I think? I am still haunted by his impersonal tendencies but I have become slowly resilient to that.

Help me Auntie Janey. What’s a girl to do? Should I be the one to confront him? How should I do that without surrendering to my vulnerability? If he ever confronts me about our status, what should I tell him? Should I tell him about my feelings, forget about my fears, throw away the fact that he is kind of impersonal, and just take the plunge? Too many questions, eh?

Help!

I am a girl who has looks but has no appeal (my guy cousin told me this). Not bragging but I’m one of the kids from the higher honors list and my mind speaks better than most of the people within my age bracket.

In the past I told myself that my personality is just stronger compared to other girls’, and men who are intimidated by me don’t deserve my time.

But in the course of life and reading books, I’ve learned that men don’t get intimidated by the girls they truly like. Aside from that, I heard that “Daig ng malandi ang maganda.”

I’m starting to get jealous of all the girls and gays from my batch who frequently rant about their love lives. Seriously, I never thought they’d get a relationship way before I do.

I come from a very conservative family and culture. I love being in it. But how will I ever get a worth-it man if this is what’s in real life?

I’ve had suitors too, but they don’t pass my standard—they have to be in my IQ bracket. (I’m ashamed to say that I’ve been courted twice by unemployed guys and one of them did not even graduate college.) Do I really have to learn flirt or just accept that I won’t attract men of substance?

I’m surrounded by old maids, Auntie Janey, and I’m so afraid to be one of them.

Hoping to hear a positive reason for being 25 and still single since birth,

My name is Olivia and here is my concern. I have been having weird dreams and I don’t know why. Last weekend I dreamt that I was Mulan. Yes, the Disney princess who took her father’s place and pretended to be a guy to join China’s army in fighting the Huns. In my dream I was getting married and I was walking down the aisle. When I got to the altar, the groom reached out his hand. When I looked at the groom’s face, there was nothing. He was faceless! Imagine my shock. That’s when I woke up. I didn’t bother telling my friends about this dream. I just shrugged it off.

My next and probably the weirdest dream I’ve ever had was the one I had 2 nights ago. In that dream I was back at my grandmother’s house and I was with my boyfriend. What’s weird about that, right? Sounds pretty normal. Except that my boyfriend in the dream was the President of the Republic of the Philippines, Noynoy Aquino.

Auntie Janey, I’m not thinking about marriage or anything like that. I’m not in a committed relationship but I go on dates. Why am I hounded by these strange dreams? Is my subconscious telling me something? Help me, I’m getting grossed out.

The two stars, Mila Kunis especially, are so likeable and look to be genuinely having a good time, so I ended up getting drawn into the movie and appreciating it. The plot doesn’t offer any great surprises and seems to have a couple of weird continuity jumps like the neck-cracking scene in LA, but this is light fare, easy on the eyes, and enjoyable if you want something breezy to take a date to.

There’s also the strange idea that two young, fairly well-off, fairly fashionable people from New York and LA have never been to the other city, which is a little difficult to believe.

Woody Harrelson makes a great extended cameo as a non-stereotypical gay foil character. Although the gay character is still dispensing sage and timely advice to his straight friend, at least his straight friend is not the girl for once. They even manage to work in an allusion to White Men Can’t Jump, working in an even more unbelievable than the first time dunk by Woody in a pickup hoops game.