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PRFU file photo: The Philippine men’s rugby team

The Philippines has just beaten Thailand 53-33 in the semifinal of the Asian 5 Nations Division 2 Championships in New Delhi, India. Thailand was ranked number 1, while the Philippines, undefeated in Asian 5 Nations rugby, was ranked fourth. The Philippines goes to the final on Saturday against India, which beat China. (We’re having a finals party after all!)

PRFU file photo: Head Coach Expo Mejia and the Philippine players at the training camp in Sydney in April.

We’re still waiting for the match details, but according to our correspondent in Delhi the Thais scored first, then Filipinos took the lead 29-16 and never lost it.

If the Philippines beats India on Saturday, they take the Division 2 Championship and get promoted to Division 1.

The Philippine rugby team gets very little media coverage. If you have a blog or a Facebook page, please repost this report.

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Read the match report from the HSBC Asian 5 Nations site.

The match report from Head Coach Expo Mejia.

The lead changed several times in the first half with both teams scoring great tries and trading penalty goals. A converted try late in the half gave the Volcanoes some breathing space as they went into the break with a 29-16 lead.

With temperatures reaching 40 degrees and a heavy dusty atmosphere to go with it, the Volcanoes looked to their bench in the second half. Kit Guerra, brothers Rupert and Raf Zappia and Kenzo West all contributed well in the forward pack. In the backs, Cleo Gomez and Justin Coveney ran on for their first international cap whilst the versatile Gareth Holgate did a good job on the wing.

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How often is basketball relegated to the postscript?

Rafe Bartholomew has written a book about Philippine basketball. From The Awl:

In Pacific Rims, Bartholomew not only follows the Alaska Aces—a Philippine Basketball Association (PBA) franchise—for a season, but he also weaves in eclectic stories from a land abroad and a league with many seemingly capricious (and often-times sketchy) rules. The stories, often very funny, cover many topics, including his on-court temper tantrum, in which he drops his pants and leaves the floor after fouling out of a local tournament. Also midgets battling transsexuals in an ethically questionable bout and two appearances on Filipino television. . .

On Saturday I took my gay friends to the rugby matches. We were supposed to be a group of six but one had a photo shoot, one was sewing, and one overslept. At half-past three in the afternoon in the blazing sunshine Bakekang, Torquata and I arrived at the IS Makati football field. A match was in progress between a team in white shorts and team in black shorts. Yeah, we know our rugby.

“We have to behave because we’re not out today, okay?” said Torqy.

“Of course,” I said. “No one can tell.”

“Right,” said Backy. “Do you see any other males in this place wearing pedal pushers?”

Earlier I’d suggested that to prevent vicious in-fighting, if anyone spotted a cute guy he should call out the jersey number and the others would lay off. The minute we sat down we all cried, “11.” We could tell from 25, 30 feet away.

“How many players on each team?” Backy asked. I said 15. 30 seconds later, my friends had learned the essentials of the game and were applauding the tries. Then the game ended, the players dispersed, and Number 11 started walking towards us.

In slow motion. With the wind ruffling his hair. And the amazing thing was, there was no wind.

Nobody breathed.

The vision walked right up to where we were sitting and without so much as a Hello, took off his shirt.

“Hello,” said his six-pack abdominal muscles.

We shrieked. Silently, because Jaime Augusto Zobel was standing behind us and he might have us shot.

The vision formerly wearing Number 11 sat down in front of us and spoke to another guy in rapid Spanish. Suddenly we wished we had paid attention in Spanish 11 class in college.

“Papaano yan,” said Torqy, “Eh Frenchy-Frenchy ka.” (How will you deal when you’re faux-French?)

“Magkalapit naman ang Waray at ang Kastila,” Backy replied. (The Waray and Spanish languages are alike.)

“That better not be Jaime Augusto’s nephew or his uncle will have us shot,” I said.

By the way, we were conversing in tones so low they were audible only to our cats and dogs.

“His waistline is 30 inches,” Backy announced using his mental tape measure.

“What nationality?” I asked.

We decided he was Argentinian. (If we are wrong please accept our humble apologies.)

After a full minute I could not bear the tense silence so I addressed the vision formerly known as Number 11. “Excuse me, what team do you play for?” Even before I heard myself the voice in my head screeched, “Estupida! That’s your question?!”

He told us the name of his team. “Do you play here every week?” I babbled on. He told us where they played. I glanced at my friends, expecting them to pitch the follow-up questions, but they were staring into the distance. End of conversation.

“Why didn’t you speak to him?” I asked.

“We couldn’t look at him directly,” they chorused. “He’ll know.”

“He’ll know what?”

“He’ll just know.”

The vision got up and walked out of our lives forever, unless we start turning up at his games.

Later there was a short ceremony in which Jaime Augusto Zobel presented the official jerseys to the national team headed for the Asian 5 Nations Division 2 championships in New Delhi. Jaime had volunteered recruited me to write about the Philippine team.

On the way to the presentation I saw the belt. “Aaaaaaah!” I covered my eyes. “What is that!”

“It’s Argentinian cool,” the wearer explained. “You just need to understand it in context.”

“What context, the brutal subjugation of the native Americans?”

“Hahaha,” the wearer said. Then he ordered the guards to take us out and shoot us.

My column on the Philippine national men’s rugby team appears in the Star on Friday.

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Tuesday, 2100. Because this is a small planet and getting smaller by the day, we have already found Number 11. Only two degrees of separation!

How we spent our Saturday afternoon: watching a rugby match at International School Manila, followed by a training session of the Philippine Men’s 15’s National Team.

Everyone needs a change of scenery now and then, and this was ours.

We met national team captain Michael Letts (L) and Austin Dacanay (R), the oldest member of the team at an ancient 33.

Our national rugby team is living proof of my Theory of World Domination: It is composed of Filipino heritage players, nearly all of them children of Filipinos living abroad. They’re half-Pinoy, half-English/Australian/Welsh/Canadian and so on.

The team is coached by Expo Mejia (center), a Filipino whose family migrated to Australia when he was 5. Mejia worked with the Australian team the Waratahs, and now coaches the New York Lions.

Despite our near-total ignorance of Philippine rugby union, we recognized one national team player: the model slash actor Andrew Wolff.

The Philippine Men’s 15’s National Team flies to New Delhi on Monday to compete in the Asian Five Nations Division 2 Championships from June 1 to 6. Mejia says they have a seriously good chance of winning the tournament. I don’t know what kind of television coverage they’ll have, but we can follow their progress on the internet. Now that we know we have a team.

Visit the Philippine Rugby Football Union website.

Sevens is the leaner, faster variant of rugby—7 players per team rather than the usual 15. Highlights from the USA Sevens:

If you want to watch live action, the next round of Philippine Rugby Football Union games in Manila will held at the University of Makati stadium on Saturday, May 15th. Juniors from 9am – 12nn and then men’s and ladies’ Rugby games from 2pm – 5pm.

This is a summary of the career of All Blacks legend Jonah Lomu, one of the scariest players to step on the field. If you saw Invictus, he’s the guy the South Africans feared and jumped at every chance.

Did you know that the Philippine rugby team won the silver medal at the 2005 Southeast Asian Games? Yes, we have a national rugby team, and if all goes well they’re going to compete in the Hong Kong Sevens next year. And the Olympics in 2016. The Philippine Rugby Football Union site is here.

Meanwhile we should probably get more Filipinos interested in the sport, so every week we’re going to post a rugby video. Here’s one selected by Jaime, featuring very large guys and bone-crunching agony. Enjoy.