JessicaRulestheUniverse.com

There’s an article about Overseas Foreign Workers and the Philippine economy in the February 2011 issue of Monocle. Lots of pictures, and it presents the Filipino worker’s skills in a good light.

Since the 1970s, the Philippine government has offered training to Filipinos wanting to work on oil tankers belonging to Danes and Norwegians, construction sites in Osaka and in private homes stretching from Beirut to Bologna, actively encouraging them to look for jobs outside the country rather than join the ranks of the 2.7 million unemployed or the 22 per cent of the population who are living on just over $1 a day.

Today, one in nine Filipinos works abroad, where they can earn salaries five or six times higher than they can at home. During 2010 alone, 53,532 people left the Philippines while those nine million already settled across 80 countries sent €17bn home to their relatives. Only India, China and Mexico receive more remittances than the Philippines. At 12 per cent of GDP, it is a source of income the government is more than happy to see coming in.

Taken with the Cartoon setting of a Samsung Galaxy S phone camera.

Wednesday, 11 August. Having finished proofreading a book on Spanish colonial church architecture, I embark on the writing of a 100-page manuscript that requires a working knowledge of Japanese pornography. Zealots and perverts, the theme of the week. I love my job.

I’ve always wanted a baul (a big wooden trunk or pirate’s chest), I don’t know why. I’ve always wanted to travel the world with a steamer trunk, or one of those large trunks with compartments like a closet. Yeah try traveling with a steamer trunk today, the excess baggage charges will kill you. And that’s before you put anything in the trunk.

Rene told me that wooden baul are made in Ilocos and used for storing their abel iloko fabrics. So I asked him to find one for me, and today I had a look at my baul.

It’s perfect. Makes me want to say “Haarrrr” and wear a bandana. I’m going to store my favorite things in it, assuming my cats don’t declare it their territory and forbid its use outside of their war games.

The inside. Fabrics not included. For baul and abel iloko inquiries, email Rene at rene.guatlo@gmail.com.

Then I spotted this in Rene’s bodega and I had to have it. It’s an old Underwood manual typewriter, dusty and rusty but otherwise in good shape. Typewriters are great for when you’re writing something intense and forceful: you can pound the hell out of the keys. Your laptop wouldn’t like that.

Does anyone know a shop that can clean and repair this typewriter?

First order of business: Forgive yourself for overindulging during the holidays. So you ate/drank/put verb here) too much: that’s what holidays are for. No use saying “I shouldn’t have” etc, because unless you invent a time machine you cannot undo what’s already been done (and enjoyed, admit that. However if you overindulged but did not enjoy it, we cannot help you).

What should you have done anyway? Gaze at the roast pig (or the roasted calf with a roasted pig in it with a roasted chicken in it with paella in it), heave an ostentatious sigh, decline a serving, then go on and on and on about your diet, triglycerides and ideal weight? That would ruin the feast for everyone else, assuming they were listening to your boring guilt trip.

Self-laceration is pointless unless one is a masochist (and painful if one is a literalist). Or some kind of artist/writer. Amazing how much beauty arises from the most sordid circumstances. Best to leave self-laceration to the pros who have the talent and training for it, or you’ll just come across as a whining ninny.

Remember that the holidays are over and moderation is the key to a sensible life. Then forgive yourself for the excesses of the last month because whingeing is so tiresome, and face it, nobody cares about your little crises. We all have problems of our own, why should you hog everyone’s attention? Your friends will listen to you but have some consideration for them, they’re probably half-dead of boredom.

And don’t say, “I wish every day were a holiday” because if every day’s a holiday then no day is a holiday, you know what I’m saying? Now get to work.

L-R: Hot milk, sugar, packets of cream, unused. Second draft of novel—Yes, it’s thick. Table napkins. Glass of water. Notebook for rewriting stuff. Pilot pen, V-Ball Grip, 0.5 point, my favorite writing instrument. Cup of coffee. Smaller notebook for reminders and observations. The Sweetness At The Bottom Of The Pie by Alan Bradley, to dip into when I’m sick of hearing myself.

Yaaarrgh I hate doing rewrites. I already wrote the damn thing, why do I have to look at it ever again. But it has to be done because despite having proudly typed ‘The End’ I know this novel lacks something. After torturing three extremely patient and helpful readers with my draft (Otsu, Zack, my friend’s agent) I hope I’ve figured it out. Otherwise all is not lost, that’s a lot of liners for the litter box.

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Thank you for your kind comments. I have no intention of inflicting this manuscript on anyone at this time. It was written in 2005 then put away. It was rewritten in 2007 then put away. Those who have read it agree that it is Funny, But Nothing Happens. In short, it is autobiographical. And written to amuse myself, so it has already served its purpose.

Everyone mouths off about politics and the need for change, but how many of us are actually registered to vote in the 2010 elections?

My clever friends at NEXUS have launched a 100% Employee Voters Registration Program.

The goal is to allow every eligible voter in the company to register with the Commission on Elections. Every employee is allowed to take a day off to register. That day will not be deducted from their vacation leaves.

Employees who are already registered voters, being responsible citizens, are also entitled to a paid day off.

And then the first fifty employees to submit their official voter registration documents to Human Resources get free tickets to Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds starring Brad Pitt, which opens in October.

Brilliant idea using Brad Pitt to encourage voters to register! I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.

You can visit http://www.comelec.gov.ph/findprecinct_/findprecinct.aspx to check if your Comelec voter registration is still active.

Here are the NEXUS guidelines, in case you want to suggest a similar program at your place of work.

Then we can address the big issue: Whom do we vote for?